


the heart of a jedi

by ofcomputernerdsandsoufflegirls



Series: (not so) daily damerey [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: DamereyDaily, F/M, Family, Feelings, Love, Post Episode 9, Prompt Fic, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, Tumblr Prompt, also mentions events in the force awakens and the last jedi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22207795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofcomputernerdsandsoufflegirls/pseuds/ofcomputernerdsandsoufflegirls
Summary: There were three men in Rey’s life that she loved. And the love she had for them was different, not identical to each other in the slightest.
Relationships: Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Poe Dameron & Rey, Poe Dameron/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren (past)
Series: (not so) daily damerey [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1595158
Comments: 2
Kudos: 53
Collections: Damerey Daily 2020





	the heart of a jedi

**Author's Note:**

> For Damerey Daily, days 9 & 10! 
> 
> day 9 - 'i know' 
> 
> day 10 - 'anywhere you go, let me go too, love me, that's all i ask of you'

There were three men in Rey’s life that she loved. And the love she had for them was different, not identical to each other in the slightest. 

\---

First, there was Finn.

The way the two of them met was fate. 

He was running around Jakku, obviously not knowing the area, his eyes wild with fear and anxiousness. BB-8 happened to spot that he was wearing his master’s jacket and so to get answers about its master’s whereabouts, she knocked him down, pointing her staff at him. 

Then it was revealed that BB-8 held something very important: a piece of the map that would lead to Luke Skywalker and the two of them knew what they had to do, stealing the fastest ship in the galaxy to get away from the First Order. 

From there, the rest of it was history. 

She grew to love Finn, first as her friend and then as the brother she never had. He cared so much about her, and she him, and that was truly the first time someone cared about her wellbeing. It was overwhelming sometimes, the amount he cared, but it was nice. No one on Jakku cared about her before and she was extremely grateful for Finn coming into her life. Having Finn in her life led to meeting new friends, like Rose, a dear, sweet, lovely woman, and finding a family - Chewbacca, Leia, Poe, D-O, Rose, Jannah, Connix, Snap, and Finn himself - that she never thought she would have. 

Finn was like the wishing star and she just managed to grab on to the tail ends before he flew away. He brought the whole entire galaxy to her small world and without him, she would probably be trapped on Jakku, forever scrounging around for scrap metal and spare parts. 

Even if they were separated, they would always find their way back to each other, just like family would. 

\---

Then, there was Ben. 

The love she had for Ben was...tumultuous, very much like crashing waves against the shore, and very intense. There was something undeniable about the connection between them and often times the feelings she felt towards him were complicated and unexplainable. 

She didn’t like the man he was when they had first met. In fact, she didn’t have a reason to like him as he captured her. He was too angry and invasive, demanding. There was so much conflict rolling around him and she could feel that he took it out on everyone instead of coming to terms with the conflict he felt. Truthfully, he was terrifying. 

But he sparked something inside of her, something powerful, during their fight on Starkiller Base. She reckoned that without him, it never would have led her to be the warrior she was today. She never would have met Luke or gotten ahold of the ancient Jedi scrolls. 

Even though Ben - no Kylo Ren - was terrifying and destructive, their connection allowed her to see glimpses of the person he used to be. A boy who loved his parents with intensity, a lost soul only looking for someone to tell him what to do and where his place was in the huge galaxy. In many ways, he was a kindred spirit and somehow Rey felt that maybe the two of them together could bring peace to their sense of wanting to belong. And he thought the same too, just differently. He thought maybe the Dark would consume her, tie her to him for all eternity. It was tempting at times, the idea of being with someone for the rest of her time and no longer having to worry about being alone. 

Somehow, she starting loving Ben Solo for who he used to be and who he could be. He had so much Light energy that would emerge from the depth of the Darkness that surrounded him and she thought maybe, just maybe she could bring that boy back. 

She was so wrong and that hurt her heart so much. But it made her realize that she couldn’t be the one to save him. He had to be the one to save himself. 

And he eventually did come back, after Leia used the last of her energy to convince him to do so. 

Her heart soared when she saw him through the connection, giving her a tiny nod before taking the lightsaber from her hands. It was wonderful knowing that Ben was on her side when they fought Palpatine and his men. It felt right when they were fighting side by side (it always had and Rey was glad to know that never changed) and it felt right when she kissed him. 

Then Ben died after bringing her back. 

A part of her heart was sad to see him die in front of her, to know that he willingly gave up his life force to bring her back to the world of the living. But he was one with the Force now, connected to his uncle and his parents and no longer lost in which path he should choose. 

She loved Ben Solo and she never knew what she could do to pay him back for all he had done for her. But she knew that Ben would always be with her, surrounding her in the Force and never leaving her alone. 

\---

Lastly, there was Poe. 

Loving Poe came unexpectedly, but it was slow and sure. 

They finally met on the Falcon after the Battle of Crait after hearing numerous stories of each other from Finn and BB-8. 

She had noticed him within the crowd of surviving Resistance fighters - how could she not, especially with looks like that? - talking quietly to those who looked crestfallen and tired, trying his best to raise their morale and spirits after all the losses they endured. He was a good leader, she thought tiredly before BB-8 came into her view, chatting to her excitedly about its exciting adventure with Rose and Finn. 

And then out of the corner of her eye, she spotted him standing right before her. He had a soft smile on his face, his eyes were tired, just like hers. There was something calming about his smile that made her smile back. 

“Hi,” he said gently and she never knew that words could be spoken like that. 

“Hi,” she repeated back, standing up. And then they introduced themselves to each other and when he told her ‘I know’, she felt that maybe that it wasn’t the first instance in which those two simple words were said aboard the Falcon and it wouldn’t be the last either. 

They became friends fast. 

“Torture buddies” was what they called each other after their first initial meeting and the name continued to stick, with everyone else in the Resistance calling them that. Knowing that someone else went through what she did made her feel less alone, more sure that she didn’t deserve what happened to her. And because Poe knew how it felt, she opened up to him more, telling him bits and pieces of her connection to Ben (after Leia, of course; Leia had the right to know because Ben was her son). 

He was patient with her, never forcing her to spit out whatever was troubling her and he sat there with her, embracing her sometimes when she had nothing to say, when she had too many thoughts that couldn’t form into words. Poe also told her of his experience with Kylo Ren and his lingering guilt of the huge loss that came the Resistance prior to the Battle of Crait. He was trustworthy, making her glad that she found a friend like him. 

Poe challenged her too, not only in flight but over everyday things. It annoyed her, when he would say or do little things and do something that was extremely reckless (like ruining the Falcon), and she expressed that annoyance to him. He ended up expressing his annoyance with what she did as well, which eventually ended up leaving Finn or Rose to settle their disagreements. Truthfully, she couldn’t even remember what they were arguing about but at the end of the day they were still fine, still friends. 

Then something had shifted between them weeks before the Battle of Exogol occurred. 

She started being more aware of when he would be looking at her, the way his eyes were when he stared at her with a look she didn’t know how to name, and more fearful about the missions he and Finn would go on. She started even noticing the tiny features about him, like the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled or laughed or how when he was stressed or angry his eyebrows would scrunch together and a line would appear in between them. It was like she started noticing various things about Poe and she couldn’t get those things out of her head. Even though she was more aware of him, she just summed it up to being more in tune with the Force (but it could never explain the reason why she felt a tingling in her chest at the sight of him or why she felt immense sadness when she saw someone alone with him). 

Then they were arguing more often and it would always lead to one of them storming off in the other direction. Majority of the time their arguments were always about each others’ safety and each time they did argue, it would always leave her fuming and wondering why Poe had to be like that, so difficult. Deep down though, she knew that Poe did it because he cared but the both of them were really too stubborn to express it the right way.

It wasn’t until she was staring into the stars, moments before she asked the Jedi to be with her, until she realized that maybe she felt something more than friendship for the man. Poe was beautiful and kind, a sometimes difficult man who was rash and cocky at times, but he only had the best intentions for everyone. For her. But she would never see him again. Or Finn, BB-8, and Rose. Because fighting her grandfather would be the last thing she would do in the galaxy before becoming one with the Force and she whispered her goodbyes to the people she loved even though they would never hear. (And then Ben brought her back and then died, leaving one more ghost on her shoulder)

After the war ended, a week later she found herself telling her goodbyes to Poe, Finn, Jannah, and Rose, knowing that for now, she had to go alone to the Jedi temples of Ilum to get a new kyber crystal and Tatooine to finally let Luke, Leia, and Ben rest. Her friends - no family - looked at her, surprised and slightly saddened at her sudden decision to leave. They all wished her well on her journey and to let them know when she would be back, but Poe was the only one who wished to privately talk to her. 

She had never told him the realization of her feelings and figured it wasn’t something that was to be said in the midst of all the chaos that followed the end of the war. It was something for another time, when she had the courage to say so. Fighting all the Sith, past and present, really took it out of her. 

“Rey,” he said to her, looking nervous for once. He was brave, empathetic, sad, and scared, but never nervous. 

“Yes?” 

“I-” Poe started, shaking his head before he found the right words. “Do you need a co-pilot?” 

She had stared at him then, trying to process what he said. Once it finally dawned on her that he was asking to go with her, to be with her wherever she went. “Yes,” she finally answered. “Chewie’s going to stay here for awhile.” 

_How come you want to come with me?_ she wanted to ask then, even though it was clear to her why he wanted to go with her. She just wanted to hear the words spoken aloud. 

“Great,” he said breathlessly and they just stared at each other, eyes bright with a newfound sense of hope and Poe had a smile that almost shone as bright as the sun that made her heart sing. 

She was in love with Poe Dameron and she would tell him, eventually, in hushed whispers on the Falcon, holding him tight to her and never letting go. 

But that was for another day and for now she relished in the feeling of having the man she was in love with be by her side. 


End file.
